Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by life that you have had no choice but to shut yourself down or close yourself off? Yeah, me too. And when it happens, I feel as if I’m trapped in dark box on a raging sea. Kind of like Noah/Noakh.
As you may recall, Noah was commanded to build an ark, fill it with animals and his immediate family, and remain within its confines for the duration of a world-destroying deluge. The Ark was to be built according to the following plan:
Make yourself an Ark of gofer wood; make it an Ark with compartments, and cover it inside and outside with a covering of pitch. This is how you are to make it: three hundred cubits the length of the Ark, fifty cubits its width, and thirty cubits its height. Make a tzohar/light source for the ark, and finish it within a cubit of the top. The entrance of the ark you are to set in its side; with bottom, second, and third decks you are to make it. (Genesis 6:14-16)
In other words, the Ark was a very large, very dark box in which its inhabitants were trapped. It had no means of propulsion or navigation. It was carried, night and day, wherever the wind and waves took it. And this massive, three-story structure had only one source of light.
Noakh’s mysterious source of illumination
Sages have long wondered about this light source. The Hebrew word tzohar means “bright” or “glittering” or “noontime light”, but since it appears just once in the Bible, it’s hard to know exactly what Noah was instructed to make. Most Bibles translate it as “window”, “opening”, or “skylight”, but mystical Jewish sources describe it as radiant gemstone containing the primordial light of creation.
However we translate it, this single source of light described in Noakh would have been inadequate to the task of lighting the Ark. So we must assume that the tzohar was intended for a different purpose. Of course the ark and its inhabitants needed to be able to see what they were doing. But it seems to me that even more than that, they needed inner illumination.
We know, as did the ark’s inhabitants, what it feels like to be surrounded by chaos, isolated from the world, and trapped in situations not of our own making. Things start to look dark and hopeless, terrifyingly uncertain. At those times, we desperately need a tzohar in our arks. We need to let a little light into our dark spaces. We need to be reminded of the splendor of creation, and of our own creative capacities. We need to see the limitless sky and get a glimpse of what lies beyond.
If we have the strength and energy for them, our meditation and prayer practices can help us to find the tzohar we need. At other times, we may need the help of good friends, and good counselors. And sometimes, the best we can do is to remember that the tzohar is there, even if we can’t find it.
I know that I will continue to build my own arks, psychic structures that I hope will carry me safely through the deluge. But I pray that I will also remember to create a tzohar so that even in my times of darkness, the light can find a way in.
May you be blessed
May you be blessed to ride the currents of life’s chaos in safety. May there always be a tzohar in your heart. And may you be a bearer of light for those who need it.
Ameyn, keyn yehi ratzon. Amen, may it be so.
Offered in memory of Iris Muriel Greene, z”l
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